Heartbeat of Hope: Managing Expectations Despite Disappointment


I imagine this is a post that will come up again and again … and again! This is such an incredibly huge topic, and it impacts so many areas of our lives and relationships.  Struggling in your marriage? Let’s take a look at your expectations! Having a hard time in parenting? Let’s talk about expectations! Wrestling at work or in another relationship? You guessed it … let’s discuss your expectations. 

I stumbled rather accidentally across this passage this morning.  It’s Psalm 62.  I often read and memorize in the King James, but I love comparing other translations, and in this case the New Living Translation says it so beautifully … 

I wait quietly before God, 

for my victory comes from Him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress where I will never be shaken …

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,

for my hope is in Him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress where I will not be shaken. 

WOW! Maybe take another moment and read it again. 

Let’s take some of those ideas piece by piece … 

How often do I wait quietly before God? Do I settle my heart and my hands and my ever-so-busy thoughts and just wait and listen? 

Do I trust that my victory comes from Him? This means that my victory over my own emotions, expectations, plans, sinful temptations … ALL of that victory comes from Him!

Am I relying on Him alone to be my rock? Am I trusting God for my security, or am I looking at a spouse, child, friend, or job for my worth and identity? 

Do I view God as a fortress in whom I will never be shaken? Is my foundation so securely rooted in Him that I can stand firm despite the storms of life?

Is my hope in Him? The word hope is translated in the King James version as expectation.  That is what originally caught my attention this morning.  After discovering that most English versions translate it as “hope,” I decided to look up the definition of the word hope.  I discovered that hope is, according to the Oxford dictionary, “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.”  Wow.  Is GOD my HOPE? 

Often when I get upset about something, it is because what I expected and desired to happen did not take place in the way I anticipated.  In the face of unmet expectations, my response is often one of frustration, disappointment, and even anger.  

When I am annoyed at my husband or children, frequently it is because they did not act in the way I expected or wanted them to.  My own desires have been confronted by a reality that is different than what I anticipated, and now I have a choice in how to respond.  

In the little booklet Your Reactions are Showing, author J. Allan Petersen astutely observes, “Do we realize that our reactions reveal our true selves? I cannot react in a manner contrary to what I really am.  My nature is revealed by my reactions” (emphasis mine).  

What do my reactions say about me when I am disappointed because my expectations are not met?  

When the holidays do not turn out like I had planned, how will I respond? 

When my spouse says something unloving, what will my reaction be? 

When my children disobey and create stress and chaos, what will my response reveal about my character? 

How can I prepare for the reality that I will face unmet expectations?

The best way to do so, as revealed in Psalm 62, is to wait quietly before God.  When I trust Him alone to be the answer to my hopes and expectations, He will not disappoint.  He will not fail.  He is always, only good.  This does not mean that I will not feel disappointment.  On the contrary, I will take my disappointment to Him, lay it at His feet, and remember that He is my rock (stability, strength, anchor), and my victory (over self and sin) comes from Him.  

If I truly believe that my victory comes from Him, I can choose to respond in a gracious, Christlike manner to the disappointments that life and relationships inevitably throw my way.  

What confident expectations (hope) can we have in Christ? Go, find your Bible, and journal the truths found in Romans 8.  Come back to the comments and tell me what you found! 

Lord, may my confident expectations be centered around You and Your promises, and may I face the disappointments of life with a positive assurance of Your unfailing goodness. 

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