The Other Side of the Coin – Finding Virtue in our Children

As mothers, it is frequently easy to see our children’s challenging behavioral traits.  Often these nuances to their personalities come out in ways that are annoying or frustrating.  Where our children are just like us we have an easier time understanding them, but when a particular trait is antithetical to our own personality we have a hard time valuing the quality and often find it challenging to handle. As a result, we tend to see the negative instead of the positive.  Today I want to encourage you to consider the other side of the coin and to “redeem” those challenging traits and see them for the potential they contain.

Here are some examples:

There are times when a particular behavior is wrong and cannot be seen from the other side of the coin; however, I would encourage you to look beyond the behavior and find positive potential within your child.

For example, dishonesty, deceitfulness, or rude behavior cannot be commended.  However, look to the root cause to see if there is a personality trait that can be cultivated into positive characteristics.

If Jacob was dishonest because he did not want you to be upset with him, perhaps he has a desire to please that can be cultivated into a heart that yearns to please God.

If Joshua was deceitful because he was keeping a secret for a friend, applaud the loyalty but teach him to walk in integrity.

If Jonathan was rude because he said something true but better left unsaid, encourage the honesty but teach him to guard his tongue.

If you come to a point where you just cannot find anything positive, ask your child! Often he/she can explain their motives in a way that will help you understand the heart behind the behavior, which in turn can help you find potential positive traits that are waiting to be developed!

Our children want to be “liked” for who they are as much as you or I do! Teach them that they do not have to change their personality, but that they need to mold their personality to fit God’s standards, utilize their natural abilities to achieve God’s plan for their life, and cultivate their potential for God’s honor and glory!